Writers of early-stage drafts need direction and options, not editing that focuses on grammar or punctuation. Your goal as a peer-reviewer of an early draft is to help the writer think of ways to expand on the ideas. Pose questions and offer examples that will help the writer think of new ways to approach the topic. Try to help the writer further develop their thesis and imagine what the final draft might be like.
Read the comments on the draft to see where you might look in The Everyday Writer for help when revising an early draft.
Body Image 1
Body Image, Essay #3
Even as we become increasingly visual, public images feature women that are a smaller size than ever before. She looks at the camera with sunken eyes, smiling her dress is Versace, or Gucci, or Dior, and it is revealing, revealing every bone and joint in their thin, thin body. I am not nearly as fragile or graceful or thin. I look away and wonder what kind of self-discipline it takes to become skinny like this model...
The media promote clothing, cigarettes, fragrances, and even food with images like these. By age seventeen a young woman has seen an average of 250,000 times of a severely underweight woman whose body type is for the most part unattainable by any means including extreme ones such as anorexia, bulimia, and drug use. (according to Allison LaVoie).
What, however, might happen if those females stopped buying the magazines that print such destructive images? A boycott is the most effective way to rid the print medium of emaciated models and eliminate the harmful effects they cause. If women stopped buying magazines that target them with such harmful advertising, magazines
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